Billy was a one of a kind boy. Billy was so edgy, he loved going to the opera and listening to sopranos. He ate hamburgers sometimes while he was there and even once had a cup of orange juice. I know, right, what a monster. Sometimes, I wonder what's wrong with that boy. He's nothing like his father y'know. If only I liked orange juice.
"Hi Mr. Phantom of the Opera! Do you want to share a glass of wine over dinner tomorrow?" Billy says hesitant because of his love for white wine.
"Sure, it better be red wine, though or else you're dead and I'll tell all of your friends about that time you stared at my clock while furiously embracing your mighty breasts. That's right, I knew. I fucking knew Billy I'm like a fucking hawk, Billy I know shit you can't even imagine, Billy." The Phantom says before being cut off by Billy.
"Why are you repeating my name so often Mr. Phantom" Billy asks in the middle of the Phantom's paragraph.
"OH LOOK AT ME! I'm Billy, I like eating hamburgers like the non scarred faced human being I am. I'M SO FUCKING GREAT" The phantom states while embracing the young man.
"Mr. Phantom, you seem to have a bunch of repressed anger. You should go to a therapist" Billy replies
"Yeah well you can have a cold glass of go fuck yourself. Also, don't forget that red wine." The Phantom screams as he heads to Billy's home.
"WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY ABOUT RED WHINE, BILLY. Do I look like a bitch, Billy? I'M SORRY, did I break your concentration?" the Phantom yells whilst flipping a table
"I think the author is blatantly ripping off of Pulp Fiction, Mr. Phantom" Billy says while he drops down to pick up the table. He repeatedly hits his head. What a surprise, right? Like, for real, what are the chances of that happening?"
"THAT FUCKER ISN'T EVEN QUOTING IT CORRECTLY." The phantom yells angrily (what a surprise, am I right)
"Hey, I'm trying my best here, I haven't seen that movie in forever, dude" I say attempting to make excuses while my beautiful body radiates a golden energy that most would tremble in front of.
"I'M NOT EVEN YOUR CHARACTER YOU ASSHOLE. Also, don't fucking sass me with that what a surprise shit." he says in a calm voice befitting his glorious personality.
"ALL I WANTED WAS A NICE DINNER WITH THE PHANTOM YOU ASSHOLE. But no, he's got more anger than the fucking hulk you asshat." Billy yells at me. (that hurts, dude)
They then had a beautiful evening and have been together since. The end.